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my heart is in a non-peaceful state,
i have trouble doing my work because of this.

*edit*
have you not learnt your lesson son, stop thinking of the futures that could be, the past that was and the present that you wish for but is not being. concentrate on doing your best for the present that is.

*edit2*
i feel like an amateur artist again, afraid to put down each stroke because what i am drawing is precious to me. man... i feel like i'm talking to a brick wall writing this on blog.