my brother suggested that the most important priority in looking for a woman is loyalty. i know it to be wise advice, but find it hard to follow. though it matters not now, because i will choose not to go into any relationship if not for the sake of the one i choose it with when i do. for i wish not for my past hurts to pain others.

not knowing what she thinks, i hope she does not believe that i have anything against her.
the distance i'm trying to place is only to care for her, and to be better prepared to do so if the opportunity arises in the future. all the while hoping she will forgive me for my failures.

what better place to write in a place that nobody reads, but that hopefully one day at a later date you may come across and know a little of what motive i had.