not knowing what she thinks, i hope she does not believe that i have anything against her.
the distance i'm trying to place is only to care for her, and to be better prepared to do so if the opportunity arises in the future. all the while hoping she will forgive me for my failures.

what better place to write in a place that nobody reads, but that hopefully one day at a later date you may come across and know a little of what motive i had.