Off-the-Top-of-my-Head

Lord, i want to search for you everyday;
at least that is what i tell myself weekly.

I've started skipping from church to church and sometimes skipping altogether with the following reasons in mind:
if it will only add to my frustration with its state, i do not wish to put myself in such a precarious position as to be tempted to sin.
i do not wish to make others uncomfortable with my presence.

i am tired of the establishment Lord, aggravated by the limits imposed by human nature on the church.
i know you wish us to respect and follow the leaders, to pray for the teachers and the students, to not judge but to encourage, discipline, to build up.
you wish us to love our brothers and sisters as Christ loves us.

Lord, MCAC has become foreign to me... i no longer know much of the brothers and sisters there, and they do not know me.
Here and there, there are instances of recognition and sincerity and maybe still a strong brotherhood or two amidst; but it seems as if my time there is up and it is time to move on.
the passions which you once instilled within me serving with that portion of your church have passed in fufillment or in failure, and now it seems i must press on in other areas of ministry in other parts.

Is this the truth Father? Is it as Pastor David Tsai once told us MCACers? that there comes a time where everything we have to give to a people is spent and it is time to bring our small contributions to others to continue our work? Is it like that with me?

Wherever you lead me Lord, give me courage and faith enough, and i will go or stay. This is not a promise, but a sincere feeble desire that i wish to be strengthened through my weakness by your strength as time progresses and your works in me increase in number.
Bless me
Amen